If you’ve ever scrolled through social media and thought, “Why don’t I look like that?”, “Everyone else has their life together except me,” you’re not alone.
Social media can make you feel like you’re falling behind, not doing enough, or not good enough. For youth and young adults especially, it can feel overwhelming — like you’re in a constant competition with everyone you see online.
But here’s the truth: most of what you see is not real. And constantly comparing yourself to it can seriously harm your mental health.
In this blog, we’ll break down:
- Why social media comparison happens
- How it affects your mind and emotions
- What it can do to your mental health
- What you can do to take back control
Why Do We Compare Ourselves Online?
It’s Built into the Way Our Brain Works
Psychologists call this social comparison theory. We compare ourselves to others to understand where we fit in — especially during times when we’re still figuring out our identity, like during high school, college, or early adulthood.
This might sound harmless, but the problem is that social media shows us a fake version of reality. You’re not seeing real, everyday lives — you’re seeing highly edited, carefully chosen posts that only show the best moments. It’s like comparing your entire life to someone else’s highlight reel.
Social Media Keeps You Stuck in the Comparison Loop
Apps like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat are designed to keep you engaged. The more you scroll, the more you see people who appear happier, more successful, better-looking, or more “put together.” This isn’t accidental — the algorithm shows you what gets attention, and often, that’s perfection or performance.
As a result, your brain starts to believe that everyone else is doing better than you, even though logically, you know that’s not true.
What Comparison Does to Your Mental Health
1. It Damages Self-Esteem
When you’re always seeing people who seem better, richer, more attractive, or more accomplished, it’s easy to start feeling like you’re not enough. Even if you know the post is edited, it still affects how you feel about yourself.
Over time, this can lead to:
- Negative self-talk
- Imposter Syndrome (when you feel like you’re not good enough or don’t deserve your success, even when you’ve worked hard and done a great job)
- Feeling like nothing you do is good enough
2. It Affects Body Image
Seeing “ideal” bodies over and over can distort how you see your own. Even if you’re healthy and strong, you may start feeling like your body is wrong simply because it doesn’t look like what you see online.
This can lead to:
- Body dissatisfaction
- Disordered eating
- Obsessing over appearance
- Avoiding being seen, even offline
3. It Increases Anxiety and Depression
Social media comparison can increase stress levels, especially when you feel like you’re falling behind in life. This might sound like:
- “I should be doing more.”
- “I’ll never be as good as them.”
- “I’m always behind.”
Over time, these thoughts can lead to:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Loneliness
- Feeling disconnected from yourself and others
4. It Can Lead to Perfectionism and Burnout
You may feel like you need to constantly keep up or be better just to feel okay. That pressure can cause burnout, where you feel emotionally and mentally exhausted — even if no one is expecting perfection from you but yourself.
How to Take Back Control from Social Media Comparison
The good news is, you don’t have to quit social media entirely to feel better. But you do need to change how you use it.
1. Pay Attention to How You Feel After Scrolling
Ask yourself:
- “How do I feel after being on this app?”
- “Did this content inspire me or make me feel worse?”
If something regularly makes you feel insecure, anxious, or frustrated, it’s worth limiting or unfollowing.
2. Curate Your Feed
You’re allowed to unfollow people — even if they’re popular, even if they’re friends. Follow people who:
- Share real, honest content
- Talk about mental health
- Promote body neutrality or positivity
- Show life without filters
Your feed should support your well-being, not hurt it.
3. Limit Your Time Online
Spending too much time on social media can make the comparison worse. Try:
- Setting time limits using screen time apps
- Taking breaks on weekends
- Not checking social media first thing in the morning or right before bed
A few small changes can make a big difference in your focus, sleep, and mood.
4. Focus on Your Own Journey
Instead of thinking, “They’re ahead of me,” try asking:
- “What progress have I made this month?”
- “What goals actually matter to me, not just what I see online?”
- “Where was I a year ago, and how have I grown?”
You’re allowed to take your time and live life at your own pace.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion is one of the most powerful tools you can learn.
If you catch yourself comparing, try saying:
- “I’m doing the best I can.”
- “Nobody has it all figured out.”
- “What I see online isn’t the full story.”
Kindness toward yourself can calm your mind, reduce stress, and help you feel more confident.
6. Talk to a Therapist
If social media is making you feel overwhelmed, insecure, or anxious, you don’t have to handle it alone.
At True North Wellness Therapy, we support youth and young adults who are:
- Struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, or self-doubt
- Feeling pressure to meet online standards
- Tired of feeling like they’re not enough
In therapy, we help you understand where those feelings come from and give you tools to rebuild confidence — without comparison.
You Are More Than What You See Online
It’s easy to forget, but no one has a perfect life. Not the influencer with the matching aesthetic feed. Not the classmate who always seems confident. Not even the person who seems to have everything going for them.
You are allowed to feel unsure, take your time, and live your life without pressure to compare.
At True North, we’re here to walk beside you, support your growth, and help you reconnect with who you are — offline and online.
Therapy Services at True North Wellness Therapy:
- In-person sessions available in Ottawa
- Virtual therapy across Ontario
- Youth-focused, LGBTQ2S+ inclusive, trauma-informed care
You don’t have to go through it alone. Book a session today and start feeling more like yourself.
